Some Self Reflection

As a student who attended a charter school geared toward helping first generation low-income students my experience is incredibly different from that of my college peers who went to elite schools. This reality sometimes makes me feel out of place and in another world at Colby.

I especially feel this way when people talk about skiing and their summer homes. Being a part of the Colby community sometimes makes me forget that I am privileged to be attending such an elite institution.

At my high school I was surrounded by black and Latinx students. We all were doing our best to stay in school and graduate. Reflecting on my charter school experience, I realize that I was kept busy all the time. I was taught that to get into college and earn a full scholarship I had to basically be super woman. Since I knew that I wanted to go to college, I took this information and ran with it. I was a part of everything. I now look back on my high school experience and realize that I was significantly more stressed then than I am now.

I think my experience is different from the students who we will be researching because there is an entitlement that usually comes with being of a higher social class. When I say entitlement, I am not talking about the self-importance people sometimes give themselves when their parents are successful. Instead, I am referring to the notion that rich people are raised with the idea that their futures will be nothing but successful. A college education and a well paying job is the expectation. This was never the case for me. Throughout my life there has always been this idea that those who receive a college education and “make it out” are anomalies. For many people from my community, college is not regarded as a serious option, and is definitely not considered a requirement. This mindset helps people justify not continuing their education and accept menial low paying jobs.

One of the reasons why I work so hard to be successful in school is because of my parents. They immigrated to this country so that my brothers and I could get an education. They were forced to be a way from their loved ones and were often discriminated against for speaking English poorly. Their stories and experiences put pressure on me to do well so that all the sacrifices they have made and continue to make are worth it.

As we discussed in class, elite schools often prioritize assimilation and Western ideals. Throughout middle school and high school for me this meant wearing a professional uniform, practicing my handshake, and going to presentations that were intended to increase my cultural capital. Here I negotiated my culture everyday in the hopes of being good enough to go to college. With my educational experiences in mind, I wonder if the person I will be interviewing and I will find a commonality through the need of code switching to be successful.