In the movies, weddings always seem to play out according to that same ridiculous script: one protagonist is about to marry some jerk, and the other protagonist is there just in time to stop it. Do priests or rabbis or ministers actually use that “if you have any objections…” line? Do people actually wait until the wedding to object other than in the movies? I don’t think I’d ever have it in me to spoil someone’s big day like that, no matter how much I objected.
One exception though. If it was my sister marrying Tom Buchanan, I’d be tipping pews and smashing wedding cakes in objection.
Where do you even start with this guy? I guess before you dive into the heavy stuff, you concede that he is a spoiled, pompous, arrogant sack of bricks. An Ivy League diploma–probably still framed on the refrigerator–afforded him a first class education in deceit and infidelity. He treats his wife, Daisy, like property, a trophy testament to his enormous wealth.
But maybe you can look past all that. Afterall, he’s got a decent hairline and a whole lot of money. He was a star on the football field. Sure, he’s an insufferable loser on the surface, but maybe underneath that big hulking mass of self-importance is a genuine guy with a big heart.
Then you get to know him in all his racist, misogynistic, and abusive ugliness. He cheats on his wife and breaks his mistress’ nose without batting an eyelash. He effectively murders another man, Gatsby, by refusing to accept the consequences of his own actions. His deflection of George Wilson towards Gatsby is proof that he is both a master manipulator and a spineless coward. How could anyone let their family member marry a man that so clearly lacks regard for any life other than his own? Nick’s final description of Tom is ‘careless’. That, to me, is one of literature’s great understatements. Tom Buchanan is toxic, cancerous, and murderous. For all his wealth and status, he is among the poorest souls in American literature.
With any luck, my sister will have realized all of this long before picking out a white dress. If not, I guess I’ll hold on to hope that weddings these days still follow that old script.
“If anybody has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
