Balans

The beauty of fika is slowing down and getting to know your friends and colleagues. It is common for Swedes to take a short break for a fika during the work day, and restaurants advertise what they have to offer for a fika. The Swedes are all about work-life balance, which they call balans. I think fika fits into their balanced living because many Swedes have very active lifestyles—they are out walking, running, or skiing—and coffee and cinnamon buns naturally follow. During a work day, a fika is productive time, because social breaks are needed for rest and connection. In some cafés, there are signs that say no laptops, because they want to preserve the social atmosphere—what fika is all about. In the U.S., I think people enjoy being on the go, as if no time for breaks means we are succeeding, or important. Here, I find that people are more intentional, and do in fact have more balanced lives. It is not frowned upon to treat yourself to a fika. It is normal and fosters community.

I’ve enjoyed getting to know my incredible peers here, on walks through the city, but especially through enjoying a fika together. I think the pandemic is teaching all of us to be more present with our people, and to not take for granted the moments we get to spend with each other.

 

For my psychology of performance course, I wanted to interview my Swedish Language and Culture teacher Maria to talk about her motivation as a singer. Naturally, we met up for a fika. Before the interview, we talked about a group project that I did for her class, and I told her that I was intimidated to ask questions of Swedes because I didn’t want to intrude on their time. She said she was surprised to hear I was intimidated because I seemed so confident and out-going in her classroom. When she took my photo for my position as a student blogger at DIS, she said that she wasn’t surprised at all: “Of course you’d be a blogger.” Blogging seems to come with a certain personality, but I told her that what she imagined wasn’t really me. “Well maybe that’s not who you are here.”

In addition to all my lovely fikas, the beauty of my abroad experience has been asking and answering of questions.

For example, when my host mom asked me to clarify how many states there are—52, 51, or 50—I said fifty with certainty, followed by extreme doubt. I had to check myself on a foundational fact. That’s what it has been like to uproot myself from Colby. What do I think I know, and is it true? True for who? There is a lot I don’t know. And a surprising amount of foods and terms that I can’t translate into English… I amaze myself, sometimes.

More importantly, I’ve been able to question myself. Since I am in a new environment with all new people, I can’t stick to my same routines—I have to meet new people, and with that comes a freedom to see myself anew. I think that maybe too many of us stick to who we are seen to be, or who we have defined ourselves to be. I’ve certainly confined myself to certain expectations of what I do and don’t do based on my own and other people’s expectations. But when I came here, no one saw me with my past attached. And it was a beautiful feeling.

I’m not looking to fundamentally shift my personality (it would be rather impossible to re-write my DNA), but I feel fresh, and I feel free. I’ve had all these random ideas my whole life, and I’ve never taken action to make any of them come to life. I just have a graveyard of lists. Being here has made me excited to start answering my questions of what is possible, of what I can do.

Because of the pandemic, I’ve had more time to myself than ever, and changing countries has transformed time to myself into time where I am present with myself. The slow moments don’t feel so dull any more.

I’m betting it’s all the fika.