{"id":1407,"date":"2012-05-30T21:50:25","date_gmt":"2012-05-31T01:50:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/?p=1407"},"modified":"2012-09-27T21:53:22","modified_gmt":"2012-09-28T01:53:22","slug":"society-should-show-sympathy-to-parents-whove-lost-their-only-child-in-middle-age","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/2012\/05\/30\/society-should-show-sympathy-to-parents-whove-lost-their-only-child-in-middle-age\/","title":{"rendered":"Society Should Show Sympathy to Parents Who\u2019ve Lost Their Only Child in Middle Age"},"content":{"rendered":"

(By Xu Baike. Zhongguo Qingnian Bao (\u4e2d\u56fd\u9752\u5e74\u62a5, China Youth Daily)<\/a>, May 30, 2012, p. 9. Complete text:) Youth Day has just passed, and Children\u2019s Day is approaching, to be followed by the Double Ninth Festival for the elderly. There is no need for the \u201csandwich layer,\u201d i.e., the middle-aged people who are the backbone of society, to have a special festival. However, the fact that there is no designated holiday for them does not mean that some who belong to this group have never been in a very difficult or even hopeless situation.<\/p>\n

Recently, a report from Guangzhou Daily revealed the secret anguish of some middle-aged people. \u201cMost of them are more than 50 years old and have been living happily with their only child over the last 20 years, but just when they\u2019ve happily purchased a new home and prepared a dowry for their child, an accident takes their child\u2019s life away. They therefore experience extreme grief that is unimaginable to ordinary people: They\u2019re too old to give birth to another child; they have to hide from their relatives and friends during each family reunion in order to avoid recalling the tragedy; and their child\u2019s face is still always fresh in their memory, constantly bringing tears to their eyes. They call themselves the \u2018people who have lost their only child.\u2019 How can they spend their remaining years?\u201d<\/p>\n

There is no need to designate a special holiday for the \u201cpeople who have lost their only child,\u201d but there should be a reminder: There must be deep concern for showing sympathy to this particular group of people. In terms of human nature, the cutting-off of a bloodline is a sad thing, so we should of course understand them and sympathize with them. Judging by reality, it is the fate of these middle-aged people to bear the long-term effects of a basic social policy [i.e., the one-child policy \u2013 Trans.].<\/p>\n

The risk to the family and the individual of \u201closing one\u2019s only child\u201d will always exist and cannot be avoided. While our social policy has effectively controlled the population problem, it has also objectively exacerbated that risk, or, in other words, it has also increased the number of people who could assume that risk. Therefore, in China, \u201closing a family\u2019s only child\u201d is not just a personal matter \u2013 it should also be regarded as a social problem.<\/p>\n

The data estimated in the report are staggering: Presently, the annual number of deaths of only children in China aged 15-30 is at least 76,000, which means that about 76,000 families \u201close their only child\u201d each year; and the group of people \u201closing their only child\u201d who are over 50 years of age is increasing day by day.<\/p>\n

The Guangzhou Daily reporter wrote: How many families in China have lost their only child? So far there have been no detailed statistics. According to Lao Guai, who accepted an interview with the Daily reporter, Taicang City, Jiangsu Province, where Lao Guai lives, has a total population of 717,200, and 115 families there are in his same situation [of having lost an only child]. If Taicang City is taken as a national sample, the number of families who have lost their only child nationwide certainly amounts to more than 1 million.<\/p>\n

Therefore, this anguish is felt by more than 1 million families. Such strong anguish is a kind of \u201cdull ache.\u201d The reporter interviewed more than 40 middle-aged parents who had lost their only child that had gathered in Hubei Province on the May Day holiday after getting in touch with one another via the Internet. They said that they are double-faced: They always appear strong in front of others, but silently cry when they return home, especially when they close their eyes late at night. They simply want to pour out their hearts to those who are suffering their same fate. Only when they are in the presence of those \u201cbrothers and sisters\u201d will they say<\/p>\n

without reservation what is on their mind.<\/p>\n

The confessions from those who have lost their only child are painful to read; they claim to be mentally disabled persons who can never be cured.<\/p>\n

The vast majority of secret hearts like theirs may not be open to society. But our society should not ignore the existence of their anguish. If this kind of social policy is a necessary choice for a large country to respond to modern challenges, then as time goes on, an increasingly modern society should show more civility for those who have suffered such loss. Public opinion should gradually form a corresponding awareness, and public policy should also make corresponding arrangements to show consideration for the ache of those who have lost their only child.<\/p>\n

As mentioned above, the loss of a family\u2019s only child is an obvious social issue. Therefore, it must be made clear that this solicitude is not a kind of grant, but a necessary form of social relief.<\/p>\n

The report also provides a possible form of social assistance. One person who lost an only child whose QQ [instant messaging interface \u2013 Trans.] nickname is Qianying established a nationwide QQ group three years ago for \u201cpeople who have lost their only child,\u201d and now the original QQ group has turned into three, with more than 1,000 group members. Qianying said that the common aspiration of group members is the establishment of a nursing home for people who have lost their only child, because only when people who have lost their only child stay together will they have no ill feelings and be able to help each other out.<\/p>\n

There is another sad confession: \u201cThe elderly in other nursing homes all have sons and daughters who will become their parents\u2019 guardians when their parents are admitted and then come back to see them frequently. However, on the one hand, we will encounter problems during the nursing-home admissions process, and on the other hand, we will not be able to hold back our emotions when we see the children of other elderly people visit their parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

Such nursing homes [for those who have lost an only child] are expected to materialize. A good arrangement would be to establish them through a pilot project funded by public funds, or by encouraging the use of government-subsidized private capital. When it is the fate of middle-aged people to bear the effects of a social policy, it is quite legitimate to use public funds to provide them relief.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(By Xu Baike. Zhongguo Qingnian Bao (\u4e2d\u56fd\u9752\u5e74\u62a5, China Youth Daily), May 30, 2012, p. 9. Complete text:) Youth Day has just passed, and Children\u2019s Day is approaching, to be followed by the Double Ninth Festival for the elderly. There is … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":295,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40877,40860],"tags":[43352],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/295"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1407"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1409,"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407\/revisions\/1409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/web.colby.edu\/eldercare\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}