Radio Script #362
Little Talks On Common Things
January 5, 1958
Do you know what American periodical has the longest record for continuous publication? It is neither a weekly nor a monthly magazine, but an annual volume that has appeared every year, without interruption, since 1793. It is the Old Farmers Almanac, often referred to as the Thomas Almanac, because its founder was Robert B. Thomas of West Boy I ston, Massachusetts. The ti t Ie page of that first Thomas almanac in 1793 carries the quaint wording of the time. It says:
“The Farmers’ Almanac, calculated on a new and improved plan for the year of our Lord 1793, being the first after Leap Year, and the seventeenth of the I ndependence of Ameri ca. Fi tted to the town of Boston, but wi II serve for any of the adjoining states. Containing~ besides the large number of astronomical ca I cu I at ions, and farme rs’ ca lendar for eve ry month of the year, as great a va riety as are to be found in any other almanac, of new, useful and entertaining matter. By Robert B. Thomas. ‘Wh i Ie the bri ght radi ant sun in center glows.r the earth in annual motion round it goes: at the same time on its own axis reels, and gives us change of seasons as it wheels.’ Published according to Act of Congress. Pri nted at the Apo 110 Press, Boston, by Be I knap and Ha II. Sold at their office, State Street, also by the author and M. Smith, Sterling. Sixpence si ng Ie, 4 shi II i ngs per dozen, 40 shi II i ngs per gross. H
By 1830 there were more than a dozen di fferent Farmers r Almanacs competi ng with each other.; so in that year Thomas called his HThe Old Farmer’s Almanacrl and copyrighted that name. Not only did that almanac outlive al I its comoetitors of that day, but 112 years afterward, in 1958, it is sti II bei ng pub- I i shed. It is a known scientific fact that the weather cannot be predicted accu- rately more than 48 hours in advance. Yet a lot of people fol low with confidence the predictions made in The Old Farmer’s Almanac more than a year ahead.
And the amazing thing is that those predictions are so etten true. For the day when the 1953 tornado hit Worcester the almanac predicted “a bad sq’uaII TT , and that t s not a I I. For ~~arch 10, 1951 it P redi cted TTa b Ii zzard up to your gi zzard”.
Snow was so heavy on that day that many public meetings were cancelled allover the Tri -STate area of Mai ne, New Hampshi re and Vermont. In 1956 Radio Station WIND in Chicago checked The dai Iy weather as it happened with predicTions made by the U. S. Weather Bureau and by The Old Farmer’s Almanac. It found the almanac’s predictions slightly betTer Than the Weather Bureau’s.
Hundreds of businesses, such as makers of rainwear and anti-freeze compounds~ as we II as sports promoters, summer theaters and trave II ing bands make a lot of future planning in accordance with the almanac’s forecasts. Even the experts, the high ranking meteorologisTs and scientists, will at times shyly admit That The Old Farmer’s Almanac has a good batting average for weather predi ction·,. but they can’t understand why.
Robert Scaife, who became editor of The Old Farmers Almanac in 1935 knew very we II that accurate weather forecasti ng months in advance is not poss i b Ie, and he had no idea why Thomas’ secret formula, handed down from editor to edi~ tor for more than a century, worked as we II as it did. I n the interest of p ubIi shing integrity, he decided to omit all weather predictions from the 1936 edition. Such a proTest fo I lowed that the Boston Hera I d ca lied it the greatest uproar since Teddy Roosevelt ordered the words !TIn God We Trustll omitted from the nickel coin. The 1936 sales fell off so badly ThaT Scaife changed his mind and back came the weather predi cti ons in the 1937 almanac, and they have appeared in every subsequent issue.
There are many i nteresti ng stories of the almanac ed i tor qetti ng copy from his astronomical calculators, the men who computed the sunrises, sunsets, the phases of the moon, tides~ etc. One such story reminds us how different were the methods of warfare a hundred and forty years ago, how much more cavalierly battles were then fought. In 1814 Thomas reached his astronomical deadline and had not received the’ needed tables from his astronomer~ then in up-state New York. Thomas dispatched a messenger, who finally returned with this reply:
uSorry , Mr. Thomas, but I am on the shores of lake Erie, hiding behind a bush, from which vantage point I intend to watch this great battle of Lake Erie. The British have just notified the Americans that one of their ships is not quite ready, and so have asked that the battle be delayed a day or so. After that I wi I I get to your astronomy.”
On the right hand side of the calendar pages the Old Farmers Almanac carri ed a co I umn ca I led HFarmer r S Ca lendar”. It was a series of short comments on almost every conceivable subject. Here are a few of those which appeared in an issue pub I i shed before 1800:
!FA clergyman was once asked whether the members of hi s church were uni ted. He replied that they were perfectly united — frozen together.u
ft It i s someti mes sa i d that women go to meeti ng on Sunday to look at each other’s dresses and bonnets. That’s scandal! They go to show off their own.”
“He that makes an ass of himself must not complain if some people ride him.”
flit is with narrow souled peop Ie as with narrow necked bottles — the less they have in them, the more no i se they make in pouri ng it out.’~ nOi sbe I i eve two-th i rds of the stori es you hear in the ne i ghborhood, and say noth i ng a bout the re st • ”
!l00 nothi ng in great haste except catch i ng f lies and runn i n9 away from a mad dog.”
Many of these short sayi ngs are remi ndfu I of those in an a Imanac even 0 I der than Thomas’ — Poor Richard’s Almanac, the work of Benjamin Franklin. But, whi Ie Franklin put in rhyme the proverb I!Early to bed and early to rise makes one healthy, wealthy and wise”, Thomas in 1794 put it this way: “Reti re to bed in season and rise early. This wi I I save your health, as wei I as wood and cand les. The almanac contained a lot of advice for health and comfort. Besides recipes for curing corns, for taking off freckles, and to get rid of bed bugs, there was the following advice about buying shoes: nTo get comfortably fitting shoes, buy them in the afternoon when the exercise of the day has stretched the muscles.”
Thomas stressed c lean I i ness: T’I f a farmer neg lects to keep eve ryth i ng clean around the house and farm bui Idings during the hot weather~ he may expect diphtheria or scarlet fever to strike his fami Iy from their breathing bad air.”
Thomas advised plentiful use of water: HAfter a day’s work in a dusty field, nothing is more valuable than a bath. Perhaps there is a good swimming hole handy, which can be patronized by all hands. But in these days every farmhouse ought to have at least one good-sized bath tub with a plentiful supply of waTer.
have told you about the old-time prejudice against stoves, when those useful articles first appeared. In 1823 the Old Farmers Almanac rose to the defense of stoves. It said, TTDon’t hesitate to get a cooking stove. They are economical, saving both wood and labor. Many people are so prejudiced against stoves that they wi I I hardly look at one. But I can speak from experience. have procured one of Rich’s cooking stoves, and I think it now saves me half my former wood use in a year. fv1y wife and the girls would not be deprived of it for anythi ng. It furn i shes us every morn i ng with baked potatoes. warm biscuit, and flapjacks.
As many of you know, I like to co I lect a I I the stori es I can find about witches and ghosts and devils in Maine folklore. Did you ever hear about the famous specTer of the town of Bath? It was in the winter of 1800 that Bath people began to talk about the strange figure that visited them by night, forete II i ng the future and urg i ng them to strange act ions. Some fo Iks c lai med to have seen iT several times. The first view would be of a body only a foot or two high, but gradually it would expand into a full-sized, even rather large, female, who not only told the persons she visited a lot of things they thought were secrets, but frequently cracked jokes in a hoarse, croaking voice.
Abraham Cummi ngs in 1826 wrote a book about the 8ath specter, a book entitled Hlmmortality Proved by the Testimony of Sense ff
• Cummings insisted that the specter was the departed wi fe of George But ler and that her appearance afTer death proved the doctrine of immortality to be true.
Two men avowed that they had seen the specter in broad daylight, that it had indeed walked with them completely around a big field. On another occasion the ghost is said to have appeared to more than fifty people at once, whi Ie they were assembled at a barn-raising. Yet through it al I, in spite of many predictions of deaTh and misfortune — predictions which were uncanni Iy borne out -the specter was gentle and kindly. Everyone who reported seeing it said the ghost always opened conversation by saying, f’Oon’t be afraid. to hurt. You need not be afrai d at a II.!’ have not come
What iT was the good people of 8ath had seen during that year of 1800 we sha II never know. But what they thought they saw was a ghos t who had bette r be listened to if a fel low knew what was good for him.
A good Mai ne story is about the 0 I d fe I low whose wi fe protested agai nst his going fishing. !;You good-for-nothing-go-fishing-bum’·,t she yelled, Pyou ain’t done a stroke or work around th i s P I ace since the f ish began to bite.!T As the old fellow and his waiting crony made off for the brook, the old man said, ‘!Ye know, when I met Gertie nigh onto thirty years ago, she was so darned sweet and pretty, I could have up and et her. And now, by gosh, I wish I’d done it.”
Now back for a minute to the Old Farmers Almanac. It had a lot to say about marriage: tTA good wife should be like a snai I, always keeping within her own house; but not I ike a snai I to carry all she has on her back. She should be like an echo, to speak when she is spoken to, but not I ike an echo a Iways to have the last word. She should be like a town clock, always keeping time with regularity, but not like a town clock to speak out loud that al I the town may hear her.
Other marriage maxims ran thus: “She that is born a beauty is half married. ,. r’J-e that marries a widow wi I I often have a dead man’s head thrown into his dish.” “He who gets a good husband for his daughter hath gained a son, but he who gets a bad one hath lost a daughter.” Tree liver me from a shabby horse and a sluttish wife.”
Of course the Old Farmers Almanac was always in favor of the rural life. I t had on I y contempT for peop Ie who had to live in the ci tv. Here is a samp Ie:
tTFie upon those painted city girls. Give me your ruddy farmer’s daughter, who thi nks more of the ye Ilow hornet than of the spri ng posies. A good, buxom country lass, who knows how to boi I a potato and can make good brown bread, is never afraid to be seen in dough. She affects not to be delighted with the fragrance of a rose nor disgusted with the sight of a cow. She can make butter as well as eat it, and whi Ie her city cousin is sti II lazi Iy sleeping, she is up and at work. Yes, by all means, we prefer the farm girl.”