Human Anatomy at Colby

The Meaning of Success at Heart

February 1st, 2019 · Comments Off on The Meaning of Success at Heart

This course has undoubtedly enriched my knowledge of the human body, it’s so complex and so fascinating!  However, I believe the most important concept I learned is the importance of a healthy lifestyle.  It is so important that it should be used as a part of one’s measurement of overall success in one’s life.  The lifestyle log provided me with quantifiable evidence regarding my exercise habits and sleeping habits because data was recorded over the course and I could find trends, positive and negative, in my lifestyle and work to change the negative lifestyle choices.  This will help me to live a healthier lifestyle and ultimately find more overall success in life.

The most fun activity for me in this course was the dissection of fresh hearts.  I was very excited when I found out Dr. Klepach got fresh hearts for us instead of preserved ones because fresh hearts are much more soft, pliable, and colorful!  Cutting open the heart revealed the valves, papillary muscles, and chordae tendineae.  It was quite amazing to feel and see these very important cardiac structures that we had just learned about in the previous class.  I also felt better knowing the chordea tendineae are very strong and likely will not break in my heart!  This class has been a challenging JanPlan that has definitely helped me learn how to study anatomy in the future.  Despite the challenge, I had a great time in this class and would encourage anyone interested in the human body to take this course.  Thank you for a great JanPlan!



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Ruler of the Forest

February 1st, 2019 · Comments Off on Ruler of the Forest

“He would gather her leaves and make them into crowns and play king of the forest”
The Giving Tree  by Shel Silverstein

At Colby, everyone here has told me that I would be fine. Every professor and friend explained that I was smart and I was worrying about nothing. They don’t know me. Eight years ago, I could not imagine going to any college. I see it as a very low point in my life when I had the lowest grades, no common sense, and the highest naiveté possible. I was a leaf constantly blown from the wind of others. The leaf represented a symbol of my idiocy and carelessness. I was a pushover who did not care about anything in the world. This recklessness eventually crushed my leaf-like existence and taught me a lesson. Ever since that day, I try not to become what I once was, playing a tiring and constant role of a smart and happy person.

Anatomy and Physiology was a very gruesome and fascinating class. It was an interconnecting web of body systems, diseases, and infections. Since I was pre-med, I thought A&P was the perfect test to see if I was on the right path and if I had what it took. Quickly, I found out that A&P was definitely not easy. I was distraught by unsatisfied scores, anxiety, and low confidence. While I was studying for A&P, my friends would be skiing, smiling, and sleeping. Despite A&P’s fascinating material, I couldn’t help think that I made a mistake. Everyone seemed to know what they were doing. Because many classmates grew anxious about lab tests and weekly quizzes, I could not help but absorb their anxieties. As I grew more anxious, my heart grew heavier riddled with doubt and despair.

My once stable fortress, that I built since eight years ago, began to tumble down. What if I was not smart enough to become a doctor? How could I continue to maintain the persona of academic success? I constantly fought with my emotions trying to maintain a happy and calm demeanor. After reflecting these questions, I realized these questions were irrelevant because I remembered the answers.

I can’t be who I am not. I am definitely not the most intelligent nor the pinnacle model of academic success. But, I have a heart. I care about my family, friends, future, and, most importantly, myself. What others have in brains, I will make up with my heart. I will study harder and smarter, smile more, and live the dream of healing others. My dream was never to become a doctor, but to heal the unnecessary wounds and pain of others.

Technically, I learned a bunch of anatomy and physiology in a short amount of time. There were so many body systems were intriguing and learning about the pathology of the body was amazing. More importantly, I remembered that I was enough. The grades, tests, and comparisons to other students did not matter to me anymore. I am thankful for the support of my family and my will to thrive rather than survive my life. I am not a soldier who needs an armor of steel rather I am a scholar eager to learn. I look forward to soaking more information and build my own prosperous kingdom/destiny. It will never be easy because I am lacking in many areas, but I will always remember my roots. To me, the leaf no longer represents regret. It is a lesson to learn so I can be the best I can be. Therefore, A&P was like a leaf to me that I will cherish, and I cannot wait until my next one. I will gather all the leaves I can and look forward to more.

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What’s In Your Pocket?

February 1st, 2019 · Comments Off on What’s In Your Pocket?

I first heard Scott Fried speak at a freshman wellness seminar two years ago. I remember him clearly—engaging and demanding, passionate and free. His talk was amazing. Every seat in Ostrove was filled, people were sitting on the stairs, standing in the back. But when I heard him speak just two days ago for the second time, I felt something different. There was something about sitting just three rows away from him with only fifteen other people in the room. It didn’t feel like he was putting on a show. It felt like he was talking directly to me. It felt like he had already seen my palm, before I’d even been asked to show it.

At the end of the talk when Scott asked for questions, I had one. But I wasn’t sure the correct way to phrase it. And I wasn’t sure if he would be offended. And I wasn’t sure if the question undermined the whole point of his talk. So I said nothing. I’m sitting here, still wondering, if he ever contacted the man who gave him HIV, just to let him know exactly how he had changed the course of his life forever. I drew some serious parallels to my experiences with my boyfriend from freshman to sophomore year. He had done terrible, emotionally abusive, and manipulative things to me. Things that have affected my confidence and security in relationships ever since. And while it in no way compares to the gravity of Scott’s situation, I sometimes think about picking up the phone and letting him know just how much damage he had done to me. But would it give me any satisfaction? I’m thinking maybe not.

And when Scott said that it is easy to love those who are easy to love, but it is hardest to love those who are hard to love, including yourself, I was thinking about how hard I have made it to love myself. When Scott asked us to show him who we are with our palm, I thought to myself, how do I make my palm look feeble, damaged, afraid? But I know that I am not feeble. Although the secret in my pocket is that I am afraid, I do not confuse it with the fact that I am timid. I am scared to let someone care about me again and I am scared to be vulnerable. I have someone in my life now who is incredibly supportive and caring, yet, I am so scared to let him in. But I am trying. I am working, each and every day, to believe him when he compliments me, to believe that he will follow (he does) through on plans when we make them, to believe that I did not deserve what I experienced in the past. That lack of self-respect and self-confidence is so deeply ingrained in me that it takes immense conscious effort to not shut down and shut him out.

The secret in the front pocket of my jeans, is that I am scared—scared to let myself feel and scared to let myself go. But my palm—who I am—is neither feeble nor timid. Somewhere in my mind, I know what I have to offer, what my self-worth is. Maybe one day I’ll pick up the phone and let him know all that he has done to me, and how much better off I am without him, and how I have learned to love myself again. But then again, maybe I won’t.

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