Painfully Bad Music Videos: The Final Manifesto

If you own a computer, smartphone, or know somebody who does, it’s probably likely that you’ve been exposed to a lot of “garbage” on the website known as YouTube. YouTube is pretty incredible, because people all over the world can view it, it’s free to join, AND a countless number of normal, talentless. everyday people have made a fortune off of their viral videos. There is no video that goes viral more often than the “This video is so bad I can’t believe it exists” genre. Now within that genre there are many subset groups. One of my personal favorites is the “Painfully Bad Music Video” (aka PBMV). PBMV’s are amazing form of entertainment and often brighten a dull, depressing, or confidence ruining day. But what makes a music video “Painfully Bad”? It’s an interesting concept that I have thought long and hard about.

The other day, whilst sitting at my desk watching YouTube on the interweb, I accidentally stumbled upon a music video that was terrible, made by a bunch of prepubescent kids on a low grade camera with terrible sound effects and sound quality. –> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm-c6oSh8uw

Now that might be terrible, but it’s not bad enough to be a YouTube sensation. That’s because they didn’t follow these rules:

1.) Be original… write your own garbage lyrics

2.) Write about something that has no substance nor any importance

3.) Then give it to a young teen who has no business singing about that topic

4.) Make your video high quality to some extent. Make it look like it wasn’t thrown together in 5 minutes on your friends flip-phone

5.)Even if your intention is to make your PBMV… Make your audience think you’re serious

6.) Have your ALLSTAR singers do abnormal things for their age like: drive a car, have ZERO parental supervision, and go “clubbing”, “dancing”, and or “partyin’”

Once you’ve done that, you’ve pretty much made an Audio/Video piece of S### that will spread “on-the-line” faster than head-lice in grammar school. Congratulations you’ve both made and ruined everyone’s day with your stupidity! Some examples are:

1.) The Infamous Friday- Rebecca Black! :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

2.) Chinese Food- Alison Gold: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWLhrHVySgA

3.) ABCDEFG- Alison Gold: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEmAHAs_rz8

4.) My Jeans- Jenna Rose: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XMy9WeI_fw